so each month i learn something; whether it be about life or about myself or about God, i always go into the next 3o/31 days of life with something new in the experience file.
in this wonderful month of September, i realize that life gets a lot more complicated when you add more stuff to it. i’m not a materialistic person but i do take advantage of having material things.
my room looks like a tornado sucked everything up and spat it back out. i don’t wear half the stuff in there but still i feel some sort of emotional attachment to all of it. to make things worse, i share a room with my little sister and she has a lot of stuff too. it just complicates things that she is almost the same size as me. it’s really bad though because i’m 8 years older…
the same thing applies to people to be honest. i keep the people i love close to me and to be honest, i feel like i’m more likely to shut people out now rather than last year. especially when two friends date and then break up or they get into an argument and stop talking to each other. i still insist on being friends with both of them but sometimes it might be difficult while i also try not to offend the one or the other by bringing up a hangout or conversation that involves the other person.
anyway that’s my two cents for dear Septembre (a little spanish for ya lol)!
okay i know i’m not an adult or a relationship counselor by any means but hear me out. i’m single and i used to resent it. in fact some times i still do. a lot of people around me are in relationships and i’ve seen how great having one person to yourself can be and i wish that for myself one day but not until God says so. i’ve also seen the bad side of relationship and the thing is; the failed relationship doesn’t just hurt the people in it. it hurts people around them too.
for some of the relationships i’ve seen, only one of the people was spiritually ready. i cannot emphasis this enough: JESUS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ANY RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!! some of my familial relationships and friendships have been hindered or ruined because they chose to go against what they said they believed and what i know i believe. it hurts to see someone you thought was faithful become faithless overnight. God’s goal for relationships is for a man and a woman to come together in a covenant with him, not wander around into different people’s arms until you feel like you’ve found your “forever person”. it really doesn’t make sense to live that way because when you finally find the person God wants for you, 1. you might compare this person to someone in the past, 2. you will not be able to have any real “first” times with this person, 3. other people know things about you that only your spouse should know. all of these things take away the sacredness of a God-ordained relationship.
other relationships are legit #goals. i mean like they both have different walks with God but God lead them to each other and it’s beyond amazing to see couples like that. that is what i want in my future relationship to be like.
i’m a young old soul and i think it’s really sweet and beneficial for a guy to ask a girl’s father for permission to date but in my case that’s never going to happen and i know there are girls like me in the world who also have issues concerning their fathers so here’s a solution: i have a few protective (and intimidating) uncles and some hardcore guy best friends who wouldn’t mind pounding someone’s face in for me lol, and don’t get me started on the girls and my mama and brother and grandparents and aunts. so the point is they will interview a guy for me and they all have a relationship with Christ so they know what to look for. All of this is to say; i want my first date, first kiss, first love to be my only and i want to be #goals.
no relationship is perfect but God-ordained relationships are the closest to it.
september is my birthday month so i love it but sometimes i don’t. when i had my party, i had invited just my super close friends and a few people i wanted to introduce to Jesus. some of those close friends seemed not to care that i was the hostess and center of the party and it hurt. i don’t feel conceited at all because at their parties, all of my attention is on them. i like to try to live by the golden rule and i don’t specifically expect others to live by it but i do expect respect. i kept holding my tongue and it was hard. ugh… oh well no use crying over spilt milk.
“it’s my party; i can cry if i want to!
~ Melanie Martinez, pity party
Melanie Martinez is an amazing artist by the way.
so today, September 21, is world gratification day. i’m grateful for life. even though i have so many things i want to change, there are even more that i would never even think of changing. i’m pretty well off compared to other people in the world so i have a lot to be grateful for.
Happy World Gratification Day!!!!
i had another post drafted but i felt the need to put this up.
life isn’t easy, i mean my life is better that other people’s but it’s still hard. there are a few people in the world that are trying so hard to make me miserable and it’s working. i haven’t had a proper stress free good night sleep in a long time. the stress tricks my brain into thinking i’ve eaten when i haven’t. every breath seem so difficult to take in, it’s just like those people are right behind me; stalking my every move. to be honest i’m terrified. one event could cause a panic attack which means another week of asthma treatments, another day to dwell on what caused this pain, and no one can do anything about it. the pain is real. my feelings are real. my life is real. i can’t wake up one morning and discover that this was all a nightmare because it’s not. the thing is i have to keep moving on. no one can tell that i’m hurting. i care too much about others to burden them with my problems unless i know they can help me manage it.
life won’t always be what you want it to be. there’s no magic carpet or genie. there’s no hidden castle that separates you from the world. nothing is as perfect as a fairy tale. but there is God. he brought life together as we know it. Jeremiah 29:11 says that He has a plan for us; a plan for our good according to his plan. Nothing we do or what people do to us can change his plan. He also says be anxious for nothing and that’s where i struggle personally. i’m an anxious person. well… not really. it takes a lot to upset me but when something or someone does manage to upset me, i get anxious. i get scared that i’ll get upset again and my automatic reaction is to cut that thing out of my life. so far it’s worked and i can avoid getting upset thus avoiding anxiety.
All of this is to say honestly; i make it a point to make sure no one can notice i’m upset. that way i can move forward with my life. but because i do that, i can see other people hurting as well. i hate that life isn’t perfect and i feel really bad for those people who feel the need to try and ruin someone else’s life because they’re wasting theirs. on that note: live life God’s way and don’t let anybody bring you down.
You know how you walk into a new environment and mingle in a crowd of new people and you see things you’ve never seen before? That’s me right now. Six months ago, I hadn’t even heard of blogging and here I am. Hi world of blogging and bloggers! Nice to virtually meet you guys! So I’m Tea. Weird right? It’s my nickname. Why be so anonymous? Because there are internet psychos in the world. Sure, not everyone is one but I’m not taking any chances. If you know who I am, hey! If you don’t, my virtual personality is the same as my physical personality so you’re getting the real me either way. Anywho I am a senior of Homeschool High School. Question number one: do I have a ton of free time? Answer number one: NO NOT AT ALL but I like to pretend I do hence blogging. Question number two: do I have a social life? Answer number two: I am legitimately the most social person you will ever meet. Question number three final question: what do I do? Answer number three final answer: I do homework, I work, I go to church, I socialize, I drink tea, I write, I do yoga, and I procrastinate. Those are the normal questions and answers I get and give when I tell people who are not familiar with homeschool that I’m homeschooled. I’m also vegetarian just for the heck of it. I mean I have a few reasons but most people are so mesmerized by bacon and burgers to understand my point of view. Anyway that’s the basics of what you should know about me.